Doubts and Leaving
🌷 Since Bhakti is a fight against maya, don’t be surprised at those who leave. There will always be a lot of casualties, doubts, lack of faith, or criticism in this war against maya.
🌷 We all know that millions die in a war. Only a handful survive. No one is surprised by that because nobody can stop that from happening. Even among thousands of Shrila Prabhupada’s disciples, only hundreds survived in Bhakti and faith in their Gurudev till the end.
🌷 Even in such a horrible Kaliyuga, which causes suspicions at the drop of a hat towards even our eternal well-wishers, some faithful and sincere souls are still existent. This is extremely astonishing. They are maintaining their faith in Guru and the Lord, no matter what. They are truly eligible to enter into the nitya-lila with their Gurudev.
🌷 Even then, those who came to know about Doyal Nitai, but then gradually fall away due to the attack of maya by doubting true vaishnavas, have not lost anything. The Bhakti they have done will always remain with them and awaken at a later stage by the causeless mercy of Doyal Nitai. So why should we lament so much that they have left us and disrupt our own Seva and Bhakti to Shri Guru and Bhagwan?
🌷 We should never judge the purity of a vaishnava by how many followers remain with him or her over time. Siddhas like Shrila Vamshidas babaji had no followers at all because almost everyone considered him mad. Many came and left Shrila Gaurishor das babaji with doubts. Many “followers” of Shrila Jagannath das babaji left him when he left Vraja to go to Navadvipa. No one could understand him. There are so many examples like this. Does that mean that he were not a siddha? The number of followers increasing or decreasing has nothing to do with the eternally perfect position of a rasika vaishnava.
🌷 If one gets disturbed by others doubting or leaving the shelter of a pure vaishnava, that means one’s own faith in that vaishnava was never strong all along. One had doubts deep within one’s ownself. So the problem is within us, not in others leaving. Why should others leaving or staying bother us in the least in our Bhakti to our Guru, Guruvarga, Nitai, and Gaur Radha Krishna? Are they going to take us to Goloka or is our Guru and Guru Parampara going to take us to Goloka? We have to set our priorities straight. We should rather try to work on ourselves and purify this doubtful mentality of ours.
🌷 We should do Bhakti solely for the pleasure of Guru, Guruvarga, Doyal Nitai, and Radharani, not for the purpose of being with others in such and such association. Our Bhakti is nourished by pure Guru and Acharya vani, not by always hanging around with others and socializing in the name of Bhakti. It is also not affected at all by others leaving us or leaving our our Gurudev as long as Gurudev and Doyal Nitai are with us. That is pure Bhakti.
🌷 Our Bhakti never decreases if others leave because that does not matter at all. Every soul may not have the sukriti to complete the journey in Bhakti in this life itself, even under a pure vaishnava. Only we can harm ourselves if we get disturbed by such external changes in this flickering world where nothing in permanent. It is the misfortune of those who leave, not ours.
🌷 Instead of letting our doubts turn into mountains, and then taking others down with us by sharing those doubts, we should directly ask all the questions to the vaishnava whom we are doubting, and give him or her a chance to explain. If one is still not satisfied with the answers, then one should increase once own sadhana to root out this doubtful mentality from the core of the heart, If one has heard pure transcendental sound vibration from him or her, then one should give benefit of the doubt to that vaishnava.
हरे कृष्ण! Jai Guruvarga! जय निताइ! Dandavats.